Thanks for tagging along on this journey.
So glad you are here!
Using this place to update, education and obliterate breast cancer!
Questions and comments can be added below!
So glad you are here!
Using this place to update, education and obliterate breast cancer!
Questions and comments can be added below!
Breast Cancer Journey
11/24/25
It’s Thanksgiving week, and there’s lots for which I’m grateful.
Near the top of the list is today.
It marks antibody infusion 18 of 18.
WE DID IT!
If you’ve stuck with this journey since day one, THANK YOU. 343 days later, I’d say for certain it has been anything but a sprint. More like a marathon… one of those ultra 50 or 100 milers, where side stitches, blisters and exhaustion are worn as badges of honor.
Today will be the very last time my port will be accessed.
The last time IV bags will be hung & I will sit in an infusion chair waiting for drips to deliver medication through my veins.
“You’ve been so strong through all of this.”
A phrase I hear a lot.
These days, however, I find that strong may look a bit different.
Strong looks like:
•being vulnerable
•being intentional
•laughter, at things that a year ago would have caused tears (hello perspective shift)
•a good ugly cry (very cathartic, you should try it, 10/10 recommend)
•asking for and accepting help
•taking a nap
•letting go of control (still working on it)
•not sweating the small stuff (and realizing most things in this life are “the small stuff”)
•saying “no” if my mind and body have reached capacity
•not feeling guilty for it
•not overcommitting my schedule
•accepting new changes & ways that my mind and body now do things post surgeries and treatments
And ya wanna know a little secret?
My story is not a story on strength or bravery, but of suffering well.
A tale of being broken down, grasping for God, grit & grace in the midst & in the end slowly reconstructing life from the shattered pieces. A tale of my weakness being utilized in His strength and for His glory.
Even in those shattered moments, health, hope, healing & faith kept me going.
Through the darkest of times, new light (even if it sometimes felt dim) emerged from the cracks.
If the past 343 days of receiving treatments every 21 days have taught me anything, it is this… “being strong” doesn’t look like putting on a mask and playing make believe. It’s not pretending life is okay.
It’s breaking down but choosing to get back up.
Healing is often at a snails pace. It’s messy and breathtaking. It’s traumatic and beautiful.
When asked it I am glad that life is “back to normal” I chuckle to myself.
There will never be a “normal” after navigating a cancer diagnosis.
Breast cancer will forever be a chapter in my storybook, and although it has shaped the person I am today, it will never define who or WHOSE I am.
For I am more than scans, biopsies, surgeries, medicines, chemo, antibody infusions, or “being strong”.
With a new vision, I now look back to see the brokenness was never where I was meant to stay, but actually an open door to walk into who God meant for me to be.
Port comes out December 11th, and I am praying that it leads to a new beginning all of its own. A fresh wind as Palm 51:12 states and maybe the start of finally being able to exhale.
It’s Thanksgiving week, and there’s lots for which I’m grateful.
Near the top of the list is today.
It marks antibody infusion 18 of 18.
WE DID IT!
If you’ve stuck with this journey since day one, THANK YOU. 343 days later, I’d say for certain it has been anything but a sprint. More like a marathon… one of those ultra 50 or 100 milers, where side stitches, blisters and exhaustion are worn as badges of honor.
Today will be the very last time my port will be accessed.
The last time IV bags will be hung & I will sit in an infusion chair waiting for drips to deliver medication through my veins.
“You’ve been so strong through all of this.”
A phrase I hear a lot.
These days, however, I find that strong may look a bit different.
Strong looks like:
•being vulnerable
•being intentional
•laughter, at things that a year ago would have caused tears (hello perspective shift)
•a good ugly cry (very cathartic, you should try it, 10/10 recommend)
•asking for and accepting help
•taking a nap
•letting go of control (still working on it)
•not sweating the small stuff (and realizing most things in this life are “the small stuff”)
•saying “no” if my mind and body have reached capacity
•not feeling guilty for it
•not overcommitting my schedule
•accepting new changes & ways that my mind and body now do things post surgeries and treatments
And ya wanna know a little secret?
My story is not a story on strength or bravery, but of suffering well.
A tale of being broken down, grasping for God, grit & grace in the midst & in the end slowly reconstructing life from the shattered pieces. A tale of my weakness being utilized in His strength and for His glory.
Even in those shattered moments, health, hope, healing & faith kept me going.
Through the darkest of times, new light (even if it sometimes felt dim) emerged from the cracks.
If the past 343 days of receiving treatments every 21 days have taught me anything, it is this… “being strong” doesn’t look like putting on a mask and playing make believe. It’s not pretending life is okay.
It’s breaking down but choosing to get back up.
Healing is often at a snails pace. It’s messy and breathtaking. It’s traumatic and beautiful.
When asked it I am glad that life is “back to normal” I chuckle to myself.
There will never be a “normal” after navigating a cancer diagnosis.
Breast cancer will forever be a chapter in my storybook, and although it has shaped the person I am today, it will never define who or WHOSE I am.
For I am more than scans, biopsies, surgeries, medicines, chemo, antibody infusions, or “being strong”.
With a new vision, I now look back to see the brokenness was never where I was meant to stay, but actually an open door to walk into who God meant for me to be.
Port comes out December 11th, and I am praying that it leads to a new beginning all of its own. A fresh wind as Palm 51:12 states and maybe the start of finally being able to exhale.
11/01/2025
I was invited to shared a bit about Gratitude at a women's event at Grace Heartland. The lyrics of this song have been on repeat for some time now. We all have a story, and someone needs to hear it. God will use your obedience, trust me, but most importantly TRUST HIM! Here are they lyrics and if ya have a spare 20ish minutes a video snippet of my testimony is below.
I was standing at the bottom
Piled up ash and broken bone
It was only then I realized
What I needed all along
At the end of me finds the truth of You
In surrender, we get strong
The worse I got, the further I fell
You were always holding on
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
I hope you know Your voice is a weapon
This moment is a vapor
There's no secret to the sadness
You just have to let it break ya
There's a beauty in the ashes
There's redemption in the fall
There's no way that we can rise
Until we're brave enough to crawl
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I won't be denied it
My songs will not hide it
There's ghosts in my closet
But Your Spirit sanctified it
And these tears of the Father (the Father)
They baptize you in water (baptize you in water)
So I rise with (I rise with) the flood (the flood), yeah
I swim harder and harder
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, yeah)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing, oh)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
I was invited to shared a bit about Gratitude at a women's event at Grace Heartland. The lyrics of this song have been on repeat for some time now. We all have a story, and someone needs to hear it. God will use your obedience, trust me, but most importantly TRUST HIM! Here are they lyrics and if ya have a spare 20ish minutes a video snippet of my testimony is below.
I was standing at the bottom
Piled up ash and broken bone
It was only then I realized
What I needed all along
At the end of me finds the truth of You
In surrender, we get strong
The worse I got, the further I fell
You were always holding on
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
I hope you know Your voice is a weapon
This moment is a vapor
There's no secret to the sadness
You just have to let it break ya
There's a beauty in the ashes
There's redemption in the fall
There's no way that we can rise
Until we're brave enough to crawl
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I won't be denied it
My songs will not hide it
There's ghosts in my closet
But Your Spirit sanctified it
And these tears of the Father (the Father)
They baptize you in water (baptize you in water)
So I rise with (I rise with) the flood (the flood), yeah
I swim harder and harder
'Cause I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, yeah)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
Oh, I've got a story (we can sing, we can sing)
From out of the fire (we can sing, we can sing, oh)
We are gonna rise up, we got victory
Hallelujah (hallelujah)
8/26/25
August 29th is my Cancerversary.
Yup, it has been one year since I received a phone call I will never be able to erase from my mind.
Since that day, the goal has been to take it a day at a time and just put my head down, press on and move forward, much like I have done most of my 44 years on this earth.
But here's what I know and have learned about forward motion.
It is not a one-size-fits-all.
It's OK not to be OK.
It's OK if it's hard. Hard to be a wife, mom, friend, business owner, leader.
It's OK to be vulnerable, even if it hurts or may even be disappointing to some.
It's OK to say yes to a lot less, if the capacity is just not there. (Yup, even if they are good things.)
It's OK to move at a slower pace. But keep moving.
It's OK to truly enjoy the little things, for you now realize that they are the big things.
And lastly, it's OK if not everyone understands. But most importantly, know GOD DOES.
And it is HIS power being made perfect in my weakness, and boy have I had the grand opportunity to live that out over the past year.
I read something just the other day that stated "If your Peace depends on everything going right, it's not Peace, it's control. Learn to be steady in uncertainty. That's real growth."
I am reminded often that it's a daily surrender, and renewal of the mind.
Looking back, my life over the past year sometimes feels like a complete out of body experience. There are things I can't remember, things I wish I could forget and a lot of in betweens.
Today, I reflect on so many supporting, kind souls telling me how strong I was/am, when some days the last thing I feel, or even want to be is strong.
I want to be healed. Physically and mentally.
I want to feel 100% like myself again.
I want to go a day without "the C word" crossing my mind or in my conversations.
I want to go a day without thinking "oh, is that little ache, pain or twinge something that should concern me?"
Some days I want silence, to just be.
Other days I want noise, a distraction if you will.
So many are curious and ask how does it feel to be on the "other side"? I'm often torn with this one as yes, we indeed are on the other side of two surgeries, 6 rounds of chemo, 14 rounds of antibody infusions (just 4 to go!) and endless Dr. appts and decisions.
However, I never truly feel that anyone who has navigated this journey is ever on "the other side". Yes, there are many good days and successes, and yes I will reach a point where Dr. visits won't fill the calendar boxes more than fun, social events.
Some days it really doesn’t seem real and at times i feel the exhaustion of what has been endured the past 365 days. But, I still believe as I have for the past 12 months that even if me sharing my story can just help one person, if they will feel hope in their darkest times and feel less fear because of my testimony, then it's more than worth it!
In between the rock bottoms, moments of sorrow, scars (visible and not) and side effects in the last year I have also loved, embraced challenge, laughed, grown in patience and wisdom & been stretched in ways I never thought possible. So here's to a couple more months of kickin' cancer to the curb.
Port removal has been schedule for December, and we just may have to throw a PARTY then!
August 29th is my Cancerversary.
Yup, it has been one year since I received a phone call I will never be able to erase from my mind.
Since that day, the goal has been to take it a day at a time and just put my head down, press on and move forward, much like I have done most of my 44 years on this earth.
But here's what I know and have learned about forward motion.
It is not a one-size-fits-all.
It's OK not to be OK.
It's OK if it's hard. Hard to be a wife, mom, friend, business owner, leader.
It's OK to be vulnerable, even if it hurts or may even be disappointing to some.
It's OK to say yes to a lot less, if the capacity is just not there. (Yup, even if they are good things.)
It's OK to move at a slower pace. But keep moving.
It's OK to truly enjoy the little things, for you now realize that they are the big things.
And lastly, it's OK if not everyone understands. But most importantly, know GOD DOES.
And it is HIS power being made perfect in my weakness, and boy have I had the grand opportunity to live that out over the past year.
I read something just the other day that stated "If your Peace depends on everything going right, it's not Peace, it's control. Learn to be steady in uncertainty. That's real growth."
I am reminded often that it's a daily surrender, and renewal of the mind.
Looking back, my life over the past year sometimes feels like a complete out of body experience. There are things I can't remember, things I wish I could forget and a lot of in betweens.
Today, I reflect on so many supporting, kind souls telling me how strong I was/am, when some days the last thing I feel, or even want to be is strong.
I want to be healed. Physically and mentally.
I want to feel 100% like myself again.
I want to go a day without "the C word" crossing my mind or in my conversations.
I want to go a day without thinking "oh, is that little ache, pain or twinge something that should concern me?"
Some days I want silence, to just be.
Other days I want noise, a distraction if you will.
So many are curious and ask how does it feel to be on the "other side"? I'm often torn with this one as yes, we indeed are on the other side of two surgeries, 6 rounds of chemo, 14 rounds of antibody infusions (just 4 to go!) and endless Dr. appts and decisions.
However, I never truly feel that anyone who has navigated this journey is ever on "the other side". Yes, there are many good days and successes, and yes I will reach a point where Dr. visits won't fill the calendar boxes more than fun, social events.
Some days it really doesn’t seem real and at times i feel the exhaustion of what has been endured the past 365 days. But, I still believe as I have for the past 12 months that even if me sharing my story can just help one person, if they will feel hope in their darkest times and feel less fear because of my testimony, then it's more than worth it!
In between the rock bottoms, moments of sorrow, scars (visible and not) and side effects in the last year I have also loved, embraced challenge, laughed, grown in patience and wisdom & been stretched in ways I never thought possible. So here's to a couple more months of kickin' cancer to the curb.
Port removal has been schedule for December, and we just may have to throw a PARTY then!
7/21/2025
It is infusion day and I will say that lots has happened in the past few months.
After chemo was complete I felt nothing like myself, mentally or physically. The picture below with words from Princess Kate so eloquently puts it into perspective.
I was experiencing some pretty severe joint and muscle pain along with hot flashes.
One day in passing, someone at the studio asked for an update on how I was doing as I hadn’t seen her in a while. ( I will never forget this day, Julia, you are an answered prayer)🙏🏼
This led to her giving me the name of a friend that had visited an integrative/holistic oncologist in Franklin, TN. Well, long story short, I paid a visit to Dr. Reisman, completed a 7 day medical detox/fast and have made some pretty drastic changes in my diet (vegetarian, wild caught fish, no dairy, gluten).
I FEEL AMAZING after just a couple of weeks, with zero joint pain or hot flashes. The inflammation and swelling have left my body, praise the LORD!
Hopeful to see what the next 12 weeks look like on his recommended dietary and supplement protocol.
Recently had a breast MRI that came back clear, so super thankful for that news!
At this time I have made the decision to not move forward and complete 16 rounds of radiation.
I am hopeful that getting to the root of any immune/metabolic deficiencies and with proper nutrition, supplements, rest, limiting stress my body will continue to heal and function at an optimal
level!
I will be real honest, this part of the journey (post chemo) has been the most challenging I believe, and just freakin’ HARD! Most would believe that now life is just back to normal, when honestly it is still anything but.
Still having to navigate appointments, infusions, decisions, process information and most days the dreaded “C” word looming & lingering in my mind or in conversations can be down right exhausting!
However, every day I wake up I am grateful for another day, the ability to enjoy life, to move, to work, to laugh and truly LIVE!!
It is infusion day and I will say that lots has happened in the past few months.
After chemo was complete I felt nothing like myself, mentally or physically. The picture below with words from Princess Kate so eloquently puts it into perspective.
I was experiencing some pretty severe joint and muscle pain along with hot flashes.
One day in passing, someone at the studio asked for an update on how I was doing as I hadn’t seen her in a while. ( I will never forget this day, Julia, you are an answered prayer)🙏🏼
This led to her giving me the name of a friend that had visited an integrative/holistic oncologist in Franklin, TN. Well, long story short, I paid a visit to Dr. Reisman, completed a 7 day medical detox/fast and have made some pretty drastic changes in my diet (vegetarian, wild caught fish, no dairy, gluten).
I FEEL AMAZING after just a couple of weeks, with zero joint pain or hot flashes. The inflammation and swelling have left my body, praise the LORD!
Hopeful to see what the next 12 weeks look like on his recommended dietary and supplement protocol.
Recently had a breast MRI that came back clear, so super thankful for that news!
At this time I have made the decision to not move forward and complete 16 rounds of radiation.
I am hopeful that getting to the root of any immune/metabolic deficiencies and with proper nutrition, supplements, rest, limiting stress my body will continue to heal and function at an optimal
level!
I will be real honest, this part of the journey (post chemo) has been the most challenging I believe, and just freakin’ HARD! Most would believe that now life is just back to normal, when honestly it is still anything but.
Still having to navigate appointments, infusions, decisions, process information and most days the dreaded “C” word looming & lingering in my mind or in conversations can be down right exhausting!
However, every day I wake up I am grateful for another day, the ability to enjoy life, to move, to work, to laugh and truly LIVE!!
4/3/2025
6th and FINAL CHEMO treatment complete!!!
Really hard to put into words what had been endured the last 5 months. Ups, downs, highs and lows, and finally we have arrived here!
Love numbers and found it real interesting that biblically speaking the number 4 represents creation and wholeness and the number 3 often signifies completeness and perfection.
So on this day I’m celebrating the fact that I’m complete, whole and ready to move forward with the rest of living life!!
Treatment isn’t fully complete however. I still have antibody infusions (Herceptin) every three weeks until December. 😬
Hoping side effects will be much more manageable with just the one drug. 🤞🏻
6th and FINAL CHEMO treatment complete!!!
Really hard to put into words what had been endured the last 5 months. Ups, downs, highs and lows, and finally we have arrived here!
Love numbers and found it real interesting that biblically speaking the number 4 represents creation and wholeness and the number 3 often signifies completeness and perfection.
So on this day I’m celebrating the fact that I’m complete, whole and ready to move forward with the rest of living life!!
Treatment isn’t fully complete however. I still have antibody infusions (Herceptin) every three weeks until December. 😬
Hoping side effects will be much more manageable with just the one drug. 🤞🏻
3/13/2025
Woke up this morning BEYOND READY for the chemo portion of my journey to make a swift EXIT.
The mental stamina has been put to the test over the past several weeks, and at times is a bit more than I can endure or even want to talk about. I have thought (to myself, keeping it pretty private) that THIS PORTION of the treatment needs some addressing. Not the surgeries, the recoveries, the endless appointments, the awkward conversations, or lovely side effects, but the mental toll on looking at your reflection in the mirror and not recognizing what you see, the wanting so badly to live a "normal life' when yours is anything but for this season, the slapping a smile on and trying to be an encouragement others because, well... that's just the way you've been wired, the desire to make plans and be social, but wanting to stay home because sometimes getting out is quite exhausting.
Well, today I was BEYOND THRILLED to get a text from a fellow "breastie" saying "I am here too this morning!". So what else do you do but wheel your "bag of goodies" down to share a room & chat to pass the time. (I love you for doing this, Elizabeth! and can we schedule our next appointments together, pretty please?)
I will just say we had a brief "meeting of the minds" and I am BEYOND CONFIDENT that today a tiny intuitive seed was planted for great growth for the future of the mental portion of breast cancer treatment for ladies in our community that will get a diagnosis and become part of the club that, let's be honest, no one wants to be forced to join.
All I can say is STAY TUNED, ya'll because "When Women Gather, GREAT Things WILL HAPPEN"!
Last CHEMO is set for APRIL 3 and please believe this gal is MORE than ready to RING THAT BELL!
Woke up this morning BEYOND READY for the chemo portion of my journey to make a swift EXIT.
The mental stamina has been put to the test over the past several weeks, and at times is a bit more than I can endure or even want to talk about. I have thought (to myself, keeping it pretty private) that THIS PORTION of the treatment needs some addressing. Not the surgeries, the recoveries, the endless appointments, the awkward conversations, or lovely side effects, but the mental toll on looking at your reflection in the mirror and not recognizing what you see, the wanting so badly to live a "normal life' when yours is anything but for this season, the slapping a smile on and trying to be an encouragement others because, well... that's just the way you've been wired, the desire to make plans and be social, but wanting to stay home because sometimes getting out is quite exhausting.
Well, today I was BEYOND THRILLED to get a text from a fellow "breastie" saying "I am here too this morning!". So what else do you do but wheel your "bag of goodies" down to share a room & chat to pass the time. (I love you for doing this, Elizabeth! and can we schedule our next appointments together, pretty please?)
I will just say we had a brief "meeting of the minds" and I am BEYOND CONFIDENT that today a tiny intuitive seed was planted for great growth for the future of the mental portion of breast cancer treatment for ladies in our community that will get a diagnosis and become part of the club that, let's be honest, no one wants to be forced to join.
All I can say is STAY TUNED, ya'll because "When Women Gather, GREAT Things WILL HAPPEN"!
Last CHEMO is set for APRIL 3 and please believe this gal is MORE than ready to RING THAT BELL!
2/20/25
Round 4 of 6 today. Welp, 67% is better than 50% so we are gonna take it!🤩
Hoping round 4 it’s a whole lot kinder to me than round 3.😫 Lotsa fatigue (which is so foreign to me as “high energy” has been my “norm” for 43 years) and some “common” side effects that I hadn’t experienced in previous rounds. Maybe more on all of that “fun” in a later post, because, if I’m being honest, I am running a bit low on words & energy these days. Honestly not sure I will ever be able to adequately describe the toll a cancer diagnosis and treatment have on your day to day life while also trying to manage a small business, be a good mother and wife & friend.
A bit physically and a lot mentally exhausted.
AND STILL a whole big bunch of thankful, especially for this guy right here. I just don’t know what I would do without his constant support, steady, calm nature & willingness and capacity to endure whatever the days, weeks, months (or my moods, Lord have mercy🙋🏻♀️) hold.
The past 7 months of life for us have been much like Ky weather in 2025… unpredictable, a bit relentless, and slightly chaotic at best.🤪
But, if you know anything at all about Ky weather, if ya persevere & stick around long enough, IT WILLchange, and I know our lives will too.
And I am confident in a change for the better! (Romans 8:28 tells me so)
And as a little red-headed orphan once melodically reminded us, “The sun WILL come out tomorrow.” ☀️
1/30/25
In the famous words of Jon Bon Jovi “ohhhh, we’re halfway there, whooooaaaa livin’ on a prayer”
That pretty much sums up exactly where we are today.
Chemo #3 is today, and we are alas, at the halfway point. 🙌🏼
A little update on life lately. Got a couple new tattoos since we have chatted last. Yup, my brows. 👀 (Hannah at LUXE is fan flipping tastic if you’re in the market)
Funny thing about cancer & chemo, they’ll really drive home the fact that we are not in control, of well… pretty much anything.
However, the very few small things that just may give the false concept of any glimmer of control, like tattooing your eyebrows before they too begin to fall out, can be pretty life giving and precious in my humble opinion.🤷🏻♀️
While it is true I don’t have control of the fatigue I experience, or when it will hit (usually at the most inopportune time).
I don’t have control of the fact that the drugs administered to me will more than likely, throw me into early menopause, which comes with a nice laundry list of other potential side effects.
(Hello weight gain and unpredictable monthly cycles😝)
I have zero control over the changes that are taking place in my body physically, but I can extend myself some much needed grace on days when it feels as though I’m a stranger in my own skin.
But, there is one thing I am sure of. I can wake up and make a CHOICE to boldly put one foot in front of the other, and just like any of the rest of you, do the best I can if even just for a few hours of the day.
I can CHOOSE to be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to grow in my faith. Grateful for prayers & encouragement of so many, whether in the form of a text, call, mailed note or personally taking time to pray with or encourage me in person. I truly cannot put into words that would adequately describe the joy this brings me, even on the hardest days.
A quote from Barbara O’Neil (look her up, a very wise woman IMO) that I love:
“Your will is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
On a little side note, between the past several months of surgeries, appointments & time in the chemo chair, I’ve done some reading & would like to leave ya with one of my favorites.
Everything Happens For A Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
This is a great gift for anyone you may know receiving the news of cancer diagnosis or simply going through tough times in general. It’s also a great read for, well, just about anyone and everyone.
I would like to particularly highlight my love for Appendix 1 & 2 respectively titled Absolutely Never Say This to People Experiencing Terrible Times: A Short List & Give This a Go, See How it Works: A Short List.
Sometimes less can be a little more when it comes to sharing advice, comparisons, life lessons, etc.
A nice compliment, “You’re doing great.” “I’m proud of you.” a word or note of encouragement or… *gasp* even SILENCE can be golden.
I’m a glass half full kinda gal and believe people really and truly do mean well. They do. We just don’t always have the words, right? I think we have all been there, done that on both the giving and receiving ends. This experience has taught me to be a bit more intentional with my words & to be a bit more comfortable in the silence. For it’s in the silence where we have no choice but to listen.
James 1:19 has been a favorite lately: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.". There is a rich value of silence when it comes to understanding others and God's will.
And as Bowler’s closing remarks state:
“Just remember that if cancer or divorce or tragedies of all kinds don’t kill you, people’s good intentions will.
Take the phrase “but they mean well…” as your cue to run screaming from the room. Or demand presents.
You deserve a break.”
Round 4 of 6 today. Welp, 67% is better than 50% so we are gonna take it!🤩
Hoping round 4 it’s a whole lot kinder to me than round 3.😫 Lotsa fatigue (which is so foreign to me as “high energy” has been my “norm” for 43 years) and some “common” side effects that I hadn’t experienced in previous rounds. Maybe more on all of that “fun” in a later post, because, if I’m being honest, I am running a bit low on words & energy these days. Honestly not sure I will ever be able to adequately describe the toll a cancer diagnosis and treatment have on your day to day life while also trying to manage a small business, be a good mother and wife & friend.
A bit physically and a lot mentally exhausted.
AND STILL a whole big bunch of thankful, especially for this guy right here. I just don’t know what I would do without his constant support, steady, calm nature & willingness and capacity to endure whatever the days, weeks, months (or my moods, Lord have mercy🙋🏻♀️) hold.
The past 7 months of life for us have been much like Ky weather in 2025… unpredictable, a bit relentless, and slightly chaotic at best.🤪
But, if you know anything at all about Ky weather, if ya persevere & stick around long enough, IT WILLchange, and I know our lives will too.
And I am confident in a change for the better! (Romans 8:28 tells me so)
And as a little red-headed orphan once melodically reminded us, “The sun WILL come out tomorrow.” ☀️
1/30/25
In the famous words of Jon Bon Jovi “ohhhh, we’re halfway there, whooooaaaa livin’ on a prayer”
That pretty much sums up exactly where we are today.
Chemo #3 is today, and we are alas, at the halfway point. 🙌🏼
A little update on life lately. Got a couple new tattoos since we have chatted last. Yup, my brows. 👀 (Hannah at LUXE is fan flipping tastic if you’re in the market)
Funny thing about cancer & chemo, they’ll really drive home the fact that we are not in control, of well… pretty much anything.
However, the very few small things that just may give the false concept of any glimmer of control, like tattooing your eyebrows before they too begin to fall out, can be pretty life giving and precious in my humble opinion.🤷🏻♀️
While it is true I don’t have control of the fatigue I experience, or when it will hit (usually at the most inopportune time).
I don’t have control of the fact that the drugs administered to me will more than likely, throw me into early menopause, which comes with a nice laundry list of other potential side effects.
(Hello weight gain and unpredictable monthly cycles😝)
I have zero control over the changes that are taking place in my body physically, but I can extend myself some much needed grace on days when it feels as though I’m a stranger in my own skin.
But, there is one thing I am sure of. I can wake up and make a CHOICE to boldly put one foot in front of the other, and just like any of the rest of you, do the best I can if even just for a few hours of the day.
I can CHOOSE to be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to grow in my faith. Grateful for prayers & encouragement of so many, whether in the form of a text, call, mailed note or personally taking time to pray with or encourage me in person. I truly cannot put into words that would adequately describe the joy this brings me, even on the hardest days.
A quote from Barbara O’Neil (look her up, a very wise woman IMO) that I love:
“Your will is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
On a little side note, between the past several months of surgeries, appointments & time in the chemo chair, I’ve done some reading & would like to leave ya with one of my favorites.
Everything Happens For A Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
This is a great gift for anyone you may know receiving the news of cancer diagnosis or simply going through tough times in general. It’s also a great read for, well, just about anyone and everyone.
I would like to particularly highlight my love for Appendix 1 & 2 respectively titled Absolutely Never Say This to People Experiencing Terrible Times: A Short List & Give This a Go, See How it Works: A Short List.
Sometimes less can be a little more when it comes to sharing advice, comparisons, life lessons, etc.
A nice compliment, “You’re doing great.” “I’m proud of you.” a word or note of encouragement or… *gasp* even SILENCE can be golden.
I’m a glass half full kinda gal and believe people really and truly do mean well. They do. We just don’t always have the words, right? I think we have all been there, done that on both the giving and receiving ends. This experience has taught me to be a bit more intentional with my words & to be a bit more comfortable in the silence. For it’s in the silence where we have no choice but to listen.
James 1:19 has been a favorite lately: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.". There is a rich value of silence when it comes to understanding others and God's will.
And as Bowler’s closing remarks state:
“Just remember that if cancer or divorce or tragedies of all kinds don’t kill you, people’s good intentions will.
Take the phrase “but they mean well…” as your cue to run screaming from the room. Or demand presents.
You deserve a break.”
1/9/25
Had a little “bump” in scheduling due to the winter wonderland experienced on Monday 1/4/25.
Chemo was cancelled, and yes it was disappointing, but I have learned now more than ever to hold
on to things of this world very loosely.
With appointments and treatments and managing days of needing a bit more rest or side effects that pop up when ya least expect it, making plans of any sort is more than a challenge to say the least. My personality is one that does not like to miss out, but I’ve experienced a shift in perspective and instead of FOMO I have learned to embrace (most days, but sometimes I do get a little miffed when I have to miss something) JOMO… the JOY of missing out. The JOY of taking slower days to read, rest, relax, journal.
SOOOO… chemo was rescheduled for today Thursday January 9 and that will shift all future appointments to Thursdays.
The day was a shorter one… PRAISE!
We were greeted by our favorite nurse, ASHLEY… PRAISE!!
Blood draw, however, started off a bit wonky.
For some reason during the blood draw from my port ( this has to be done every time before chemo is administered just to make sure numbers are good for treatment) there was a bit of a lag or kink, as in the blood would start to draw and then just stop. After MANY and I mean MANY saline flushes and several attempts and prayers, the kinks were worked out and we were good to go!
The Herceptin that is administered first and that was 90 mins last time was bumped to 30 mins since I was able to tolerate it on the first round, so that shaved an hour off “chemo chair” time.
Thankful to say, other than the port issue everything else ran smoothly and we were done and ready to go by lunchtime!!! Knocking out another round!🥊
Just four more to go.
Here is the ***UPDATED SCHEDULE ( for NOW)
We so appreciate your prayers.
#3 January 30
#4 Feb 20
#5 March 13
#6 April 3
Had a little “bump” in scheduling due to the winter wonderland experienced on Monday 1/4/25.
Chemo was cancelled, and yes it was disappointing, but I have learned now more than ever to hold
on to things of this world very loosely.
With appointments and treatments and managing days of needing a bit more rest or side effects that pop up when ya least expect it, making plans of any sort is more than a challenge to say the least. My personality is one that does not like to miss out, but I’ve experienced a shift in perspective and instead of FOMO I have learned to embrace (most days, but sometimes I do get a little miffed when I have to miss something) JOMO… the JOY of missing out. The JOY of taking slower days to read, rest, relax, journal.
SOOOO… chemo was rescheduled for today Thursday January 9 and that will shift all future appointments to Thursdays.
The day was a shorter one… PRAISE!
We were greeted by our favorite nurse, ASHLEY… PRAISE!!
Blood draw, however, started off a bit wonky.
For some reason during the blood draw from my port ( this has to be done every time before chemo is administered just to make sure numbers are good for treatment) there was a bit of a lag or kink, as in the blood would start to draw and then just stop. After MANY and I mean MANY saline flushes and several attempts and prayers, the kinks were worked out and we were good to go!
The Herceptin that is administered first and that was 90 mins last time was bumped to 30 mins since I was able to tolerate it on the first round, so that shaved an hour off “chemo chair” time.
Thankful to say, other than the port issue everything else ran smoothly and we were done and ready to go by lunchtime!!! Knocking out another round!🥊
Just four more to go.
Here is the ***UPDATED SCHEDULE ( for NOW)
We so appreciate your prayers.
#3 January 30
#4 Feb 20
#5 March 13
#6 April 3
1/4/2024
Bald. Is. Beautiful. So I’ve been told numerous times over the past several days.
And, ya know what? It’s January in Kentucky, and bald is also flippin’ COLD! 🥶
The hair shedding escalated quite rapidly. On Monday December 30th I got out of the shower and noticed a few extra hairs falling when I was getting ready. I haven’t owned a hairbrush in years, so for me I didn’t notice it when I was brushing my hair.
By NYE the hair was falling out faster than the ball could drop and as the calendar flipped to 2025, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands.
My hubby gave my my first (and hopefully last) haircut, and we had some fun experimenting with a nice Kid ‘N Play high top fade (if you weren’t in high school in the late 1900s, you can go ahead and google that one) and a Mohawk before buzzing off the rest.
If I’m being honest, I kinda love it and it’s even lower maintenance than my previous short hair… silver lining!
And when, or if, it all completely falls out, vacuuming up stubble will be way easier than clumps of lovely locks.
For whatever reason, the buzzing process was not an emotional one for me. Trust me, there have been MANY other emotional moments since this all started in August. However, for our sweet girl it was a bit of an adjustment and lotsa hugs were given and a few tears shed. I assured her that I was still the same momma, that it didn’t hurt and I felt good and we would still live life to the fullest as we always do.
We are good now, as she loves helping me pick out daily head accessories and enjoys rubbing my head especially in the evenings as part of our bedtime routine.
Chemo, you may have taken my hair, but you have given me so much in return.
Extra snuggles with my girl, interactions with some amazing women who I would have never met had it not been for a cancer diagnosis or chemo treatments, a new found appreciation for day to day life and little things I once took for granted that I never will again, and a perspective on what truly matters… and it ain’t hair!
12/31/24
Chemo #2 is scheduled for Monday January 6.
As always, prayers greatly appreciated.
- For my mind to stay focused on truths and not wander to “what ifs” and for mental strength as most days the battle has been way more mental than physical
- Also for my focus, train of thought and memory (chemo brain is real, y’all and if mid conversation I seem to be aloof these days, well… apologies in advance 😬)
- Minimal to no side effects again for this round
- Continued strength and ability to move and exercise as I feel strong and well enough to do so
- That everything moving forward goes according to schedule and my bloodwork results are good so treatment plan can go as follows
#4 Feb 17
#5 March 10
#6 March 31 Last treatment, and one day after my 44th birthday. What a birthday present!
Here is a little update from chemo round 1.
The entire process from start to finish took about 5.5 hours. Thankfully, I experienced zero side effects while at the hospital during administration of chemo drugs (carboplatin & docetaxel) and antibody (herceptin).
The worst part was having to physically sit still for that length of time as I really don’t do that too well.😬
Our nurse, Ashley, was truly amazing, had a great sense of humor and overall the time seemed to pass rather quickly & we were finished & on our way home by 1:30!
The next couple of days were a bit more so emotionally taxing than physically. You’re given a long list, and when I say long I mean several pages of descriptions, side effects and information on each drug administered. It’s almost like the childlike anticipation on Christmas morning, but substitute the gifts with which side effect, if any, will I experience and WHEN?
A “chemo crapshoot” is what I have termed it.
Tuesday-Thursday (days 2-4), I was tired, had some “GI distress” but nothing terrible or unmanageable and honestly felt pretty good considering.
Then came Friday (day 5). I was in bed the majority of the day with a horrible headache and just couldn’t physically will my body to move an inch. So I didn’t. As much as I didn’t want to, I laid in bed all day until school pickup time at 2:15. I was feeling a bit better and for the sake of trying to maintain routine and the role of momma, I threw on a hat and some sweats (not sure I had even brushed my teeth if I’m being honest) and made the 5 minute drive to pick up our girl from school.
By dinner time Friday and after a good cry and conversation with God in a nice hot shower, I felt almost human again.
Saturday afternoon (day 6) we ventured to see The Nutcracker and by this time the headache was gone, thankfully, and I felt not 100% but not too bad had an enjoyable time.
A few new side effects had now entered the chat. The entire coating of my tongue felt like it had been rubbed with sandpaper and my mouth was extremely dry. I never really experienced sores that can be a side effect, but more of a raw, I just drank a way too hot cup of coffee feeling for the next several days.
I have given myself the name “space cadet” because honestly my brain feels a bit spacey more often than not and my focus, train of thought and memory aren’t firing on all cylinders most days.I would describe it as a “tired but wired” feeling. ***Apologies in advanced for those of you at the barre that thought I lost track of counting before. The fun’s just begun!🤪
And I will say this…Be thankful for your nose hairs people. Yup, they gone! And my nose pretty much runs 24/7 which is just more annoying than anything.
On Saturday evening I experienced some pretty gnarly joint pain in my pelvis, hips, low back and legs which I believe may have been due to the Neulesta given which helps my body make white blood cells to hopefully reduce the risk of infection during my chemo treatments.
Hoping to explore some options this go round that may help with the joint pain.
From Sunday on, I began to feel better and better each day and so far the week leading up to Chemo #2 I honestly felt pretty much normal in terms of schedule, activity and energy levels. So super thankful for that!
In 6 days it’ll be time to “do it all again”. And we will be 1/3 of the way there and one day closer to the end of chemo!
I constantly have to remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. There are so many daily obstacles to navigate and surfaced emotions to process. (More on that later in a separate post)
Isaiah 40:31 has been my go to scripture lately.
Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.
12/9/24
Chemotherapy Round 1 is scheduled for December 16th at 8am. I am scheduled for 6 rounds, going every three weeks, so by April this chapter too will be just a memory. I cannot tell you how excited I am for that day.
If you could keep this little family in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.
If I am being honest, life has been a tad bit rough lately.
Schedules shifted, normal daily routines stripped, emotions all over the place, physical and mental limits tested, and some days I am just down right exhausted with navigating all of it.
However, much like so many things in life, it is temporary, and we are clinging to that reminder.
We are so grateful for so many reaching out to ask what you can do to help. Honestly if we knew what that would be, we would for sure welcome the help.
But, for now, we simply ask for prayers:
For a smooth transition into the next steps for us.
For minimal (none would be great☺️) side effects from chemo treatments.
For energy and strength (physical, and mental) to navigate life in the coming months.
For me to be able to get back to a regular exercise/instructing schedule. Movement is medicine and it has been extremely difficult for me, mentally and physically, to have that taken away with recovery from the past two surgeries.
For grace in running a business through all of this. So thankful for instructors that have stepped up BIG TIME. There are so many “hats” to be worn in small business ownership, and I’m sure some of them have been worn backwards the past few months!
Will have some “be still” time on my hands as I receive treatments on Monday. If you would let us know how we can pray for you as well, we would be honored to do just that!
Leaving you with a scripture that has repeatedly been placed before me over the past few weeks. Hope it encourages you.
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
For MY GOOD, for HIS GLORY.🩵
Chemotherapy Round 1 is scheduled for December 16th at 8am. I am scheduled for 6 rounds, going every three weeks, so by April this chapter too will be just a memory. I cannot tell you how excited I am for that day.
If you could keep this little family in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.
If I am being honest, life has been a tad bit rough lately.
Schedules shifted, normal daily routines stripped, emotions all over the place, physical and mental limits tested, and some days I am just down right exhausted with navigating all of it.
However, much like so many things in life, it is temporary, and we are clinging to that reminder.
We are so grateful for so many reaching out to ask what you can do to help. Honestly if we knew what that would be, we would for sure welcome the help.
But, for now, we simply ask for prayers:
For a smooth transition into the next steps for us.
For minimal (none would be great☺️) side effects from chemo treatments.
For energy and strength (physical, and mental) to navigate life in the coming months.
For me to be able to get back to a regular exercise/instructing schedule. Movement is medicine and it has been extremely difficult for me, mentally and physically, to have that taken away with recovery from the past two surgeries.
For grace in running a business through all of this. So thankful for instructors that have stepped up BIG TIME. There are so many “hats” to be worn in small business ownership, and I’m sure some of them have been worn backwards the past few months!
Will have some “be still” time on my hands as I receive treatments on Monday. If you would let us know how we can pray for you as well, we would be honored to do just that!
Leaving you with a scripture that has repeatedly been placed before me over the past few weeks. Hope it encourages you.
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
For MY GOOD, for HIS GLORY.🩵
A little behind-the-scenes Instagram versus reality picture for ya! Fresh scars and a drain, headed out for family pictures.🤪
Thanksgiving 11/28/24
“Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to you
And these wounds are a story you'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars”
Scars lyrics
I AM THEY
As promised, sharing the goods, bads, ups, downs, uglies and pretties.
SCARS:
share stories
fade with time, but memories remain.
And, here we are, Thanksgiving number one post diagnosis, post surgeries, pre chemo & radiation, but not post counting every blessing, every single day.
I would be lying if I said there haven’t been moments of incredible frustration. But I told myself when this journey started that I wouldn’t allow those moments to turn into days. So I have done just that. I have extended much needed grace to my body and my mind, sat with frustration and alllll the emotions, sobbed, punched (well as best I can under current restrictions. See, Dr. Fensterer, I’m being a good patient) kicked and screamed at times.
“You look great!” I hear often. And most times those words sink in without much thought or a simple smiling “Thank you!” But sometimes, deep down, if I can be honest, I’d like to respond with… “ohhhh, if I could only show ya these scars. If you ONLY KNEW!”
The purpose in sharing these scars isn’t for sympathy or attention. But to look back on in the REAL near future and say, I MADE IT! That these moments didn’t last forever, even if it seemed as though they would at the time.
So today I will belly up to the table (yup, drain and all) with so much gratitude.
Today, I will be grateful for struggles.
Today, I will be thankful for a second surgery pathology report resulting in clear margins and CANCER FREE NEWS!
Today, I will cling to all the blessings.
Today, I will be thankful for the scars.
11/28/24
As Taylor says, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.
Yes, Miss Swift, today I am feeling every single bit of 22.
As in, 22 total visit, scans, tests, surgeries, you name it, since I first discovered a small lump in my breast.
22 y’all! 😳
I’ve said it multiple times over the last three months, I’m not sure how people have the time to navigate chronic illness, or other diagnosis . Yet, here we are! And by the grace of God, we have survived 100% of the hardest days so far.
Gonna take a few minutes on this post to highlight (as briefly as I can, bear with me) the timeline of our**story this far.
** I say our and not my, because from day 1 I haven’t been in this alone and the support from family and friends has been indescribable
July 23
While doing monthly self exam (DO THIS LADIES) I found a small lump in my left breast, so I called to get it checked out.
July 31
Office visit with Dr. Shannon Holt, who is phenomenal by the way, and was scheduled for mammogram and ultrasound to further investigate.
August 16
Appointment for Mammogram (both breasts) and ultrasound of left breast
After results were read (on the spot) it was recommended that I have a breast biopsy and that was scheduled.
August 28
Breast biopsy was done. Not terrible at all and I was back to normal routine, including teaching at the studio and working within a few days.
August 29
The phone rings… it is Dr. Holt. She asks if I can come to the office and if I am alone.
I knew right then there was news on the other side of the line that was definitely not in my plan for how this season of my life was going to go.
I told her that we were fine with talking on the phone and put her on speaker phone while my husband Jared and I listened as she explained that there were cancerous cells found in the biopsy.
I’m not even sure looking back on it that it registered that afternoon, or even for several days after. Appointments were scheduled to meet with surgeon and oncologist.
September 5
2 hour office visit with Dr. Karen Brunkhorst and Dr. Christopher Burkeen
It goes without saying that this is a visit that no one wants to ever have on their calendar, but the thorough explanation of it all and care that was shown allowed us to feel at ease for the next steps. I was told that the type of breast cancer I had was stage 1 ER positive PR positive HER2 negative, and very treatable. It was caught early in the treatment plan would involve a lumpectomy to remove the tissue, clear the margins, as well as a sentinel node biopsy to make sure lymph nodes were clear, followed by three weeks of radiation approximately six weeks after surgery date.
Blood was drawn for genetic testing to be performed.
Surgery was scheduled, and we also discussed a breast reduction, which I’m not gonna lie I was very excited about!😬
We had a plan! We left feeling great about the weeks ahead.
September 12
Genetic testing came back NEGATIVE, praise the LORD!
October 14
Met with Dr. Tathyana Fensterer (plastic surgeon) to discuss surgery for breast reduction.
October 21
Met with Tara Drexler at lymphedema clinic as there is a risk for lymphedema when lymph nodes are taken. But here’s the best thing. I had been educating myself on the lymphatic system for a while now and have been and will continue to do several things that help move the lymph. (One of those is rebounding on the rebounder trampoline, I’ll save that for another post all by itself!!)
October 22
Surgery date!
It was a looooonnnggg day. Lymph nodes removed, lumpectomy and breast reduction performed. The procedure was outpatient and recovery I can say was honestly not too bad!
October 29
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst discussing pathology of last week’s surgery. She starts by saying we have great news (hallelujah I thought to myself) and we also have some MEH news (well that shifted quickly). The great news was that all margins were cleared and the lymph nodes were all negative. The meh news was that in some of the breast tissue that was removed new cancer was found (not previously detected on any previous imaging or tests!!) and it was ER positive PR positive and HER2 positive. A completely different type of cancer in the same breast.
WHAT IN THE WORLD!? I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really remember much that was said after that, but do remember the words another surgery and chemotherapy.
Talk about a plot twist!
November 4
Visit with Dr. Burkeen to discuss chemotherapy. Went over in great detail the chemo proposed to treat my cancer, answered any and all questions we had.
Once again was told stage 1 and caught very early. I did request a PET scan at this appointment, because well… while i do love surprises, it hits a little different when that surprise is newfound cancer. I just wanted to peace of mind and to be confident that the cancer had not spread to any other areas in my body. He said he could absolutely put in an order for that, but did discuss that insurance may not choose to cover it since cancer was in such an early stage. (YAY INSURANCE, please say this out loud in your most sarcastic voice, because that’s what I just did)
November 7
Visit with Dr. Brunkhorst
Surgery numero dos was discussed and scheduled. All questions were answered and left feeling confident of the plan in place.
November 15
CT Scan
Long and short of it, insurance denied the PET scan, and wanted CT scan first.
So went for CT on this day at 1:00 and then
Chemo Education
with Randy Ball that afternoon.
If you don’t know this man, let me just tell you he is one of the most caring and compassionate souls that I have ever met. And that was just me talking to him for about an hour about what chemotherapy would look like. All questions were thoroughly answered, and then some.
Got a tour of the new Cancer Center at Baptist, which is very impressive. Heated floors and massage chairs in the chemo rooms, yes please!
I left feeling very confident and educated about the months ahead.
I am to receive six chemo treatments, starting sometime mid December, on a schedule of one every three weeks. So hopefully, when the flowers are blooming in the spring, I will be growing right out of chemo treatments as well!
November 18
EKG appointment
This was done to take a baseline measure, as one of the possible side effects of the chemo drugs I will take could, but in very rare cases, affect the heart.
November 19
CT SCAN RESULTS
got a call from Dr. Burkeen that scan was all good, such a relief. PET scan was not needed at this time due to these results.
Follow up with Tara Drexler for lymphedema. Said that I was doing very well and used the words “a star student”, yay for some good news!! All checked out good and will continue to have follow up appointments through the remainder of this journey.
November 22
Surgery 2 date! Plans include shaving muscle tissue to hopefully clear margins for cancer #2 and install port for chemo.
Here we go again. You know you gotta laugh and not cry about it when the sweet gals at the check in desk say “you look familiar!” Yes, I was just last here 4 weeks TO THE DATE! Oct 22 and Nov 22.
Which led me to this verse right here:
Psalm 22:22
“I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.”
And that, my friends, is what we will continue to do, PRAISE HIM in this storm.
There have been so many blessings that have taken place over the past several months. Too numerous to count. HE is in the trials, the storms, the unfavorable diagnosis
and I’m confident a hurt is never wasted.
So now we wait… we wait for the results from Friday’s surgery expectantly and with hope for clear margins and CANCER FREE news. And while we wait… we PRAISE! 🙌🏼
November 26
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst with GREAT NEWS, she says.
All margins from second surgery are CLEAR & I am CANCER FREE.
I squealed, l thanked her, told her how grateful I was for her & that it was the best Thanksgiving news I have ever received.
“Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to you
And these wounds are a story you'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars”
Scars lyrics
I AM THEY
As promised, sharing the goods, bads, ups, downs, uglies and pretties.
SCARS:
share stories
fade with time, but memories remain.
And, here we are, Thanksgiving number one post diagnosis, post surgeries, pre chemo & radiation, but not post counting every blessing, every single day.
I would be lying if I said there haven’t been moments of incredible frustration. But I told myself when this journey started that I wouldn’t allow those moments to turn into days. So I have done just that. I have extended much needed grace to my body and my mind, sat with frustration and alllll the emotions, sobbed, punched (well as best I can under current restrictions. See, Dr. Fensterer, I’m being a good patient) kicked and screamed at times.
“You look great!” I hear often. And most times those words sink in without much thought or a simple smiling “Thank you!” But sometimes, deep down, if I can be honest, I’d like to respond with… “ohhhh, if I could only show ya these scars. If you ONLY KNEW!”
The purpose in sharing these scars isn’t for sympathy or attention. But to look back on in the REAL near future and say, I MADE IT! That these moments didn’t last forever, even if it seemed as though they would at the time.
So today I will belly up to the table (yup, drain and all) with so much gratitude.
Today, I will be grateful for struggles.
Today, I will be thankful for a second surgery pathology report resulting in clear margins and CANCER FREE NEWS!
Today, I will cling to all the blessings.
Today, I will be thankful for the scars.
11/28/24
As Taylor says, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.
Yes, Miss Swift, today I am feeling every single bit of 22.
As in, 22 total visit, scans, tests, surgeries, you name it, since I first discovered a small lump in my breast.
22 y’all! 😳
I’ve said it multiple times over the last three months, I’m not sure how people have the time to navigate chronic illness, or other diagnosis . Yet, here we are! And by the grace of God, we have survived 100% of the hardest days so far.
Gonna take a few minutes on this post to highlight (as briefly as I can, bear with me) the timeline of our**story this far.
** I say our and not my, because from day 1 I haven’t been in this alone and the support from family and friends has been indescribable
July 23
While doing monthly self exam (DO THIS LADIES) I found a small lump in my left breast, so I called to get it checked out.
July 31
Office visit with Dr. Shannon Holt, who is phenomenal by the way, and was scheduled for mammogram and ultrasound to further investigate.
August 16
Appointment for Mammogram (both breasts) and ultrasound of left breast
After results were read (on the spot) it was recommended that I have a breast biopsy and that was scheduled.
August 28
Breast biopsy was done. Not terrible at all and I was back to normal routine, including teaching at the studio and working within a few days.
August 29
The phone rings… it is Dr. Holt. She asks if I can come to the office and if I am alone.
I knew right then there was news on the other side of the line that was definitely not in my plan for how this season of my life was going to go.
I told her that we were fine with talking on the phone and put her on speaker phone while my husband Jared and I listened as she explained that there were cancerous cells found in the biopsy.
I’m not even sure looking back on it that it registered that afternoon, or even for several days after. Appointments were scheduled to meet with surgeon and oncologist.
September 5
2 hour office visit with Dr. Karen Brunkhorst and Dr. Christopher Burkeen
It goes without saying that this is a visit that no one wants to ever have on their calendar, but the thorough explanation of it all and care that was shown allowed us to feel at ease for the next steps. I was told that the type of breast cancer I had was stage 1 ER positive PR positive HER2 negative, and very treatable. It was caught early in the treatment plan would involve a lumpectomy to remove the tissue, clear the margins, as well as a sentinel node biopsy to make sure lymph nodes were clear, followed by three weeks of radiation approximately six weeks after surgery date.
Blood was drawn for genetic testing to be performed.
Surgery was scheduled, and we also discussed a breast reduction, which I’m not gonna lie I was very excited about!😬
We had a plan! We left feeling great about the weeks ahead.
September 12
Genetic testing came back NEGATIVE, praise the LORD!
October 14
Met with Dr. Tathyana Fensterer (plastic surgeon) to discuss surgery for breast reduction.
October 21
Met with Tara Drexler at lymphedema clinic as there is a risk for lymphedema when lymph nodes are taken. But here’s the best thing. I had been educating myself on the lymphatic system for a while now and have been and will continue to do several things that help move the lymph. (One of those is rebounding on the rebounder trampoline, I’ll save that for another post all by itself!!)
October 22
Surgery date!
It was a looooonnnggg day. Lymph nodes removed, lumpectomy and breast reduction performed. The procedure was outpatient and recovery I can say was honestly not too bad!
October 29
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst discussing pathology of last week’s surgery. She starts by saying we have great news (hallelujah I thought to myself) and we also have some MEH news (well that shifted quickly). The great news was that all margins were cleared and the lymph nodes were all negative. The meh news was that in some of the breast tissue that was removed new cancer was found (not previously detected on any previous imaging or tests!!) and it was ER positive PR positive and HER2 positive. A completely different type of cancer in the same breast.
WHAT IN THE WORLD!? I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really remember much that was said after that, but do remember the words another surgery and chemotherapy.
Talk about a plot twist!
November 4
Visit with Dr. Burkeen to discuss chemotherapy. Went over in great detail the chemo proposed to treat my cancer, answered any and all questions we had.
Once again was told stage 1 and caught very early. I did request a PET scan at this appointment, because well… while i do love surprises, it hits a little different when that surprise is newfound cancer. I just wanted to peace of mind and to be confident that the cancer had not spread to any other areas in my body. He said he could absolutely put in an order for that, but did discuss that insurance may not choose to cover it since cancer was in such an early stage. (YAY INSURANCE, please say this out loud in your most sarcastic voice, because that’s what I just did)
November 7
Visit with Dr. Brunkhorst
Surgery numero dos was discussed and scheduled. All questions were answered and left feeling confident of the plan in place.
November 15
CT Scan
Long and short of it, insurance denied the PET scan, and wanted CT scan first.
So went for CT on this day at 1:00 and then
Chemo Education
with Randy Ball that afternoon.
If you don’t know this man, let me just tell you he is one of the most caring and compassionate souls that I have ever met. And that was just me talking to him for about an hour about what chemotherapy would look like. All questions were thoroughly answered, and then some.
Got a tour of the new Cancer Center at Baptist, which is very impressive. Heated floors and massage chairs in the chemo rooms, yes please!
I left feeling very confident and educated about the months ahead.
I am to receive six chemo treatments, starting sometime mid December, on a schedule of one every three weeks. So hopefully, when the flowers are blooming in the spring, I will be growing right out of chemo treatments as well!
November 18
EKG appointment
This was done to take a baseline measure, as one of the possible side effects of the chemo drugs I will take could, but in very rare cases, affect the heart.
November 19
CT SCAN RESULTS
got a call from Dr. Burkeen that scan was all good, such a relief. PET scan was not needed at this time due to these results.
Follow up with Tara Drexler for lymphedema. Said that I was doing very well and used the words “a star student”, yay for some good news!! All checked out good and will continue to have follow up appointments through the remainder of this journey.
November 22
Surgery 2 date! Plans include shaving muscle tissue to hopefully clear margins for cancer #2 and install port for chemo.
Here we go again. You know you gotta laugh and not cry about it when the sweet gals at the check in desk say “you look familiar!” Yes, I was just last here 4 weeks TO THE DATE! Oct 22 and Nov 22.
Which led me to this verse right here:
Psalm 22:22
“I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.”
And that, my friends, is what we will continue to do, PRAISE HIM in this storm.
There have been so many blessings that have taken place over the past several months. Too numerous to count. HE is in the trials, the storms, the unfavorable diagnosis
and I’m confident a hurt is never wasted.
So now we wait… we wait for the results from Friday’s surgery expectantly and with hope for clear margins and CANCER FREE news. And while we wait… we PRAISE! 🙌🏼
November 26
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst with GREAT NEWS, she says.
All margins from second surgery are CLEAR & I am CANCER FREE.
I squealed, l thanked her, told her how grateful I was for her & that it was the best Thanksgiving news I have ever received.