Thanks for tagging along on this journey.
So glad you are here!
Using this place to update, education and obliterate breast cancer!
Questions and comments can be added below!
So glad you are here!
Using this place to update, education and obliterate breast cancer!
Questions and comments can be added below!
Breast Cancer Journey
3/13/2025
Woke up this morning BEYOND READY for the chemo portion of my journey to make a swift EXIT.
The mental stamina has been put to the test over the past several weeks, and at times is a bit more than I can endure or even want to talk about. I have thought (to myself, keeping it pretty private) that THIS PORTION of the treatment needs some addressing. Not the surgeries, the recoveries, the endless appointments, the awkward conversations, or lovely side effects, but the mental toll on looking at your reflection in the mirror and not recognizing what you see, the wanting so badly to live a "normal life' when yours is anything but for this season, the slapping a smile on and trying to be an encouragement others because, well... that's just the way you've been wired, the desire to make plans and be social, but wanting to stay home because sometimes getting out is quite exhausting.
Well, today I was BEYOND THRILLED to get a text from a fellow "breastie" saying "I am here too this morning!". So what else do you do but wheel your "bag of goodies" down to share a room & chat to pass the time. (I love you for doing this, Elizabeth! and can we schedule our next appointments together, pretty please?)
I will just say we had a brief "meeting of the minds" and I am BEYOND CONFIDENT that today a tiny intuitive seed was planted for great growth for the future of the mental portion of breast cancer treatment for ladies in our community that will get a diagnosis and become part of the club that, let's be honest, no one wants to be forced to join.
All I can say is STAY TUNED, ya'll because "When Women Gather, GREAT Things WILL HAPPEN"!
Last CHEMO is set for APRIL 3 and please believe this gal is MORE than ready to RING THAT BELL!
Woke up this morning BEYOND READY for the chemo portion of my journey to make a swift EXIT.
The mental stamina has been put to the test over the past several weeks, and at times is a bit more than I can endure or even want to talk about. I have thought (to myself, keeping it pretty private) that THIS PORTION of the treatment needs some addressing. Not the surgeries, the recoveries, the endless appointments, the awkward conversations, or lovely side effects, but the mental toll on looking at your reflection in the mirror and not recognizing what you see, the wanting so badly to live a "normal life' when yours is anything but for this season, the slapping a smile on and trying to be an encouragement others because, well... that's just the way you've been wired, the desire to make plans and be social, but wanting to stay home because sometimes getting out is quite exhausting.
Well, today I was BEYOND THRILLED to get a text from a fellow "breastie" saying "I am here too this morning!". So what else do you do but wheel your "bag of goodies" down to share a room & chat to pass the time. (I love you for doing this, Elizabeth! and can we schedule our next appointments together, pretty please?)
I will just say we had a brief "meeting of the minds" and I am BEYOND CONFIDENT that today a tiny intuitive seed was planted for great growth for the future of the mental portion of breast cancer treatment for ladies in our community that will get a diagnosis and become part of the club that, let's be honest, no one wants to be forced to join.
All I can say is STAY TUNED, ya'll because "When Women Gather, GREAT Things WILL HAPPEN"!
Last CHEMO is set for APRIL 3 and please believe this gal is MORE than ready to RING THAT BELL!
2/20/25
Round 4 of 6 today. Welp, 67% is better than 50% so we are gonna take it!🤩
Hoping round 4 it’s a whole lot kinder to me than round 3.😫 Lotsa fatigue (which is so foreign to me as “high energy” has been my “norm” for 43 years) and some “common” side effects that I hadn’t experienced in previous rounds. Maybe more on all of that “fun” in a later post, because, if I’m being honest, I am running a bit low on words & energy these days. Honestly not sure I will ever be able to adequately describe the toll a cancer diagnosis and treatment have on your day to day life while also trying to manage a small business, be a good mother and wife & friend.
A bit physically and a lot mentally exhausted.
AND STILL a whole big bunch of thankful, especially for this guy right here. I just don’t know what I would do without his constant support, steady, calm nature & willingness and capacity to endure whatever the days, weeks, months (or my moods, Lord have mercy🙋🏻♀️) hold.
The past 7 months of life for us have been much like Ky weather in 2025… unpredictable, a bit relentless, and slightly chaotic at best.🤪
But, if you know anything at all about Ky weather, if ya persevere & stick around long enough, IT WILLchange, and I know our lives will too.
And I am confident in a change for the better! (Romans 8:28 tells me so)
And as a little red-headed orphan once melodically reminded us, “The sun WILL come out tomorrow.” ☀️
1/30/25
In the famous words of Jon Bon Jovi “ohhhh, we’re halfway there, whooooaaaa livin’ on a prayer”
That pretty much sums up exactly where we are today.
Chemo #3 is today, and we are alas, at the halfway point. 🙌🏼
A little update on life lately. Got a couple new tattoos since we have chatted last. Yup, my brows. 👀 (Hannah at LUXE is fan flipping tastic if you’re in the market)
Funny thing about cancer & chemo, they’ll really drive home the fact that we are not in control, of well… pretty much anything.
However, the very few small things that just may give the false concept of any glimmer of control, like tattooing your eyebrows before they too begin to fall out, can be pretty life giving and precious in my humble opinion.🤷🏻♀️
While it is true I don’t have control of the fatigue I experience, or when it will hit (usually at the most inopportune time).
I don’t have control of the fact that the drugs administered to me will more than likely, throw me into early menopause, which comes with a nice laundry list of other potential side effects.
(Hello weight gain and unpredictable monthly cycles😝)
I have zero control over the changes that are taking place in my body physically, but I can extend myself some much needed grace on days when it feels as though I’m a stranger in my own skin.
But, there is one thing I am sure of. I can wake up and make a CHOICE to boldly put one foot in front of the other, and just like any of the rest of you, do the best I can if even just for a few hours of the day.
I can CHOOSE to be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to grow in my faith. Grateful for prayers & encouragement of so many, whether in the form of a text, call, mailed note or personally taking time to pray with or encourage me in person. I truly cannot put into words that would adequately describe the joy this brings me, even on the hardest days.
A quote from Barbara O’Neil (look her up, a very wise woman IMO) that I love:
“Your will is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
On a little side note, between the past several months of surgeries, appointments & time in the chemo chair, I’ve done some reading & would like to leave ya with one of my favorites.
Everything Happens For A Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
This is a great gift for anyone you may know receiving the news of cancer diagnosis or simply going through tough times in general. It’s also a great read for, well, just about anyone and everyone.
I would like to particularly highlight my love for Appendix 1 & 2 respectively titled Absolutely Never Say This to People Experiencing Terrible Times: A Short List & Give This a Go, See How it Works: A Short List.
Sometimes less can be a little more when it comes to sharing advice, comparisons, life lessons, etc.
A nice compliment, “You’re doing great.” “I’m proud of you.” a word or note of encouragement or… *gasp* even SILENCE can be golden.
I’m a glass half full kinda gal and believe people really and truly do mean well. They do. We just don’t always have the words, right? I think we have all been there, done that on both the giving and receiving ends. This experience has taught me to be a bit more intentional with my words & to be a bit more comfortable in the silence. For it’s in the silence where we have no choice but to listen.
James 1:19 has been a favorite lately: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.". There is a rich value of silence when it comes to understanding others and God's will.
And as Bowler’s closing remarks state:
“Just remember that if cancer or divorce or tragedies of all kinds don’t kill you, people’s good intentions will.
Take the phrase “but they mean well…” as your cue to run screaming from the room. Or demand presents.
You deserve a break.”
Round 4 of 6 today. Welp, 67% is better than 50% so we are gonna take it!🤩
Hoping round 4 it’s a whole lot kinder to me than round 3.😫 Lotsa fatigue (which is so foreign to me as “high energy” has been my “norm” for 43 years) and some “common” side effects that I hadn’t experienced in previous rounds. Maybe more on all of that “fun” in a later post, because, if I’m being honest, I am running a bit low on words & energy these days. Honestly not sure I will ever be able to adequately describe the toll a cancer diagnosis and treatment have on your day to day life while also trying to manage a small business, be a good mother and wife & friend.
A bit physically and a lot mentally exhausted.
AND STILL a whole big bunch of thankful, especially for this guy right here. I just don’t know what I would do without his constant support, steady, calm nature & willingness and capacity to endure whatever the days, weeks, months (or my moods, Lord have mercy🙋🏻♀️) hold.
The past 7 months of life for us have been much like Ky weather in 2025… unpredictable, a bit relentless, and slightly chaotic at best.🤪
But, if you know anything at all about Ky weather, if ya persevere & stick around long enough, IT WILLchange, and I know our lives will too.
And I am confident in a change for the better! (Romans 8:28 tells me so)
And as a little red-headed orphan once melodically reminded us, “The sun WILL come out tomorrow.” ☀️
1/30/25
In the famous words of Jon Bon Jovi “ohhhh, we’re halfway there, whooooaaaa livin’ on a prayer”
That pretty much sums up exactly where we are today.
Chemo #3 is today, and we are alas, at the halfway point. 🙌🏼
A little update on life lately. Got a couple new tattoos since we have chatted last. Yup, my brows. 👀 (Hannah at LUXE is fan flipping tastic if you’re in the market)
Funny thing about cancer & chemo, they’ll really drive home the fact that we are not in control, of well… pretty much anything.
However, the very few small things that just may give the false concept of any glimmer of control, like tattooing your eyebrows before they too begin to fall out, can be pretty life giving and precious in my humble opinion.🤷🏻♀️
While it is true I don’t have control of the fatigue I experience, or when it will hit (usually at the most inopportune time).
I don’t have control of the fact that the drugs administered to me will more than likely, throw me into early menopause, which comes with a nice laundry list of other potential side effects.
(Hello weight gain and unpredictable monthly cycles😝)
I have zero control over the changes that are taking place in my body physically, but I can extend myself some much needed grace on days when it feels as though I’m a stranger in my own skin.
But, there is one thing I am sure of. I can wake up and make a CHOICE to boldly put one foot in front of the other, and just like any of the rest of you, do the best I can if even just for a few hours of the day.
I can CHOOSE to be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to grow in my faith. Grateful for prayers & encouragement of so many, whether in the form of a text, call, mailed note or personally taking time to pray with or encourage me in person. I truly cannot put into words that would adequately describe the joy this brings me, even on the hardest days.
A quote from Barbara O’Neil (look her up, a very wise woman IMO) that I love:
“Your will is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.”
On a little side note, between the past several months of surgeries, appointments & time in the chemo chair, I’ve done some reading & would like to leave ya with one of my favorites.
Everything Happens For A Reason And Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
This is a great gift for anyone you may know receiving the news of cancer diagnosis or simply going through tough times in general. It’s also a great read for, well, just about anyone and everyone.
I would like to particularly highlight my love for Appendix 1 & 2 respectively titled Absolutely Never Say This to People Experiencing Terrible Times: A Short List & Give This a Go, See How it Works: A Short List.
Sometimes less can be a little more when it comes to sharing advice, comparisons, life lessons, etc.
A nice compliment, “You’re doing great.” “I’m proud of you.” a word or note of encouragement or… *gasp* even SILENCE can be golden.
I’m a glass half full kinda gal and believe people really and truly do mean well. They do. We just don’t always have the words, right? I think we have all been there, done that on both the giving and receiving ends. This experience has taught me to be a bit more intentional with my words & to be a bit more comfortable in the silence. For it’s in the silence where we have no choice but to listen.
James 1:19 has been a favorite lately: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.". There is a rich value of silence when it comes to understanding others and God's will.
And as Bowler’s closing remarks state:
“Just remember that if cancer or divorce or tragedies of all kinds don’t kill you, people’s good intentions will.
Take the phrase “but they mean well…” as your cue to run screaming from the room. Or demand presents.
You deserve a break.”
1/9/25
Had a little “bump” in scheduling due to the winter wonderland experienced on Monday 1/4/25.
Chemo was cancelled, and yes it was disappointing, but I have learned now more than ever to hold
on to things of this world very loosely.
With appointments and treatments and managing days of needing a bit more rest or side effects that pop up when ya least expect it, making plans of any sort is more than a challenge to say the least. My personality is one that does not like to miss out, but I’ve experienced a shift in perspective and instead of FOMO I have learned to embrace (most days, but sometimes I do get a little miffed when I have to miss something) JOMO… the JOY of missing out. The JOY of taking slower days to read, rest, relax, journal.
SOOOO… chemo was rescheduled for today Thursday January 9 and that will shift all future appointments to Thursdays.
The day was a shorter one… PRAISE!
We were greeted by our favorite nurse, ASHLEY… PRAISE!!
Blood draw, however, started off a bit wonky.
For some reason during the blood draw from my port ( this has to be done every time before chemo is administered just to make sure numbers are good for treatment) there was a bit of a lag or kink, as in the blood would start to draw and then just stop. After MANY and I mean MANY saline flushes and several attempts and prayers, the kinks were worked out and we were good to go!
The Herceptin that is administered first and that was 90 mins last time was bumped to 30 mins since I was able to tolerate it on the first round, so that shaved an hour off “chemo chair” time.
Thankful to say, other than the port issue everything else ran smoothly and we were done and ready to go by lunchtime!!! Knocking out another round!🥊
Just four more to go.
Here is the ***UPDATED SCHEDULE ( for NOW)
We so appreciate your prayers.
#3 January 30
#4 Feb 20
#5 March 13
#6 April 3
Had a little “bump” in scheduling due to the winter wonderland experienced on Monday 1/4/25.
Chemo was cancelled, and yes it was disappointing, but I have learned now more than ever to hold
on to things of this world very loosely.
With appointments and treatments and managing days of needing a bit more rest or side effects that pop up when ya least expect it, making plans of any sort is more than a challenge to say the least. My personality is one that does not like to miss out, but I’ve experienced a shift in perspective and instead of FOMO I have learned to embrace (most days, but sometimes I do get a little miffed when I have to miss something) JOMO… the JOY of missing out. The JOY of taking slower days to read, rest, relax, journal.
SOOOO… chemo was rescheduled for today Thursday January 9 and that will shift all future appointments to Thursdays.
The day was a shorter one… PRAISE!
We were greeted by our favorite nurse, ASHLEY… PRAISE!!
Blood draw, however, started off a bit wonky.
For some reason during the blood draw from my port ( this has to be done every time before chemo is administered just to make sure numbers are good for treatment) there was a bit of a lag or kink, as in the blood would start to draw and then just stop. After MANY and I mean MANY saline flushes and several attempts and prayers, the kinks were worked out and we were good to go!
The Herceptin that is administered first and that was 90 mins last time was bumped to 30 mins since I was able to tolerate it on the first round, so that shaved an hour off “chemo chair” time.
Thankful to say, other than the port issue everything else ran smoothly and we were done and ready to go by lunchtime!!! Knocking out another round!🥊
Just four more to go.
Here is the ***UPDATED SCHEDULE ( for NOW)
We so appreciate your prayers.
#3 January 30
#4 Feb 20
#5 March 13
#6 April 3
1/4/2024
Bald. Is. Beautiful. So I’ve been told numerous times over the past several days.
And, ya know what? It’s January in Kentucky, and bald is also flippin’ COLD! 🥶
The hair shedding escalated quite rapidly. On Monday December 30th I got out of the shower and noticed a few extra hairs falling when I was getting ready. I haven’t owned a hairbrush in years, so for me I didn’t notice it when I was brushing my hair.
By NYE the hair was falling out faster than the ball could drop and as the calendar flipped to 2025, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands.
My hubby gave my my first (and hopefully last) haircut, and we had some fun experimenting with a nice Kid ‘N Play high top fade (if you weren’t in high school in the late 1900s, you can go ahead and google that one) and a Mohawk before buzzing off the rest.
If I’m being honest, I kinda love it and it’s even lower maintenance than my previous short hair… silver lining!
And when, or if, it all completely falls out, vacuuming up stubble will be way easier than clumps of lovely locks.
For whatever reason, the buzzing process was not an emotional one for me. Trust me, there have been MANY other emotional moments since this all started in August. However, for our sweet girl it was a bit of an adjustment and lotsa hugs were given and a few tears shed. I assured her that I was still the same momma, that it didn’t hurt and I felt good and we would still live life to the fullest as we always do.
We are good now, as she loves helping me pick out daily head accessories and enjoys rubbing my head especially in the evenings as part of our bedtime routine.
Chemo, you may have taken my hair, but you have given me so much in return.
Extra snuggles with my girl, interactions with some amazing women who I would have never met had it not been for a cancer diagnosis or chemo treatments, a new found appreciation for day to day life and little things I once took for granted that I never will again, and a perspective on what truly matters… and it ain’t hair!
12/31/24
Chemo #2 is scheduled for Monday January 6.
As always, prayers greatly appreciated.
- For my mind to stay focused on truths and not wander to “what ifs” and for mental strength as most days the battle has been way more mental than physical
- Also for my focus, train of thought and memory (chemo brain is real, y’all and if mid conversation I seem to be aloof these days, well… apologies in advance 😬)
- Minimal to no side effects again for this round
- Continued strength and ability to move and exercise as I feel strong and well enough to do so
- That everything moving forward goes according to schedule and my bloodwork results are good so treatment plan can go as follows
#4 Feb 17
#5 March 10
#6 March 31 Last treatment, and one day after my 44th birthday. What a birthday present!
Here is a little update from chemo round 1.
The entire process from start to finish took about 5.5 hours. Thankfully, I experienced zero side effects while at the hospital during administration of chemo drugs (carboplatin & docetaxel) and antibody (herceptin).
The worst part was having to physically sit still for that length of time as I really don’t do that too well.😬
Our nurse, Ashley, was truly amazing, had a great sense of humor and overall the time seemed to pass rather quickly & we were finished & on our way home by 1:30!
The next couple of days were a bit more so emotionally taxing than physically. You’re given a long list, and when I say long I mean several pages of descriptions, side effects and information on each drug administered. It’s almost like the childlike anticipation on Christmas morning, but substitute the gifts with which side effect, if any, will I experience and WHEN?
A “chemo crapshoot” is what I have termed it.
Tuesday-Thursday (days 2-4), I was tired, had some “GI distress” but nothing terrible or unmanageable and honestly felt pretty good considering.
Then came Friday (day 5). I was in bed the majority of the day with a horrible headache and just couldn’t physically will my body to move an inch. So I didn’t. As much as I didn’t want to, I laid in bed all day until school pickup time at 2:15. I was feeling a bit better and for the sake of trying to maintain routine and the role of momma, I threw on a hat and some sweats (not sure I had even brushed my teeth if I’m being honest) and made the 5 minute drive to pick up our girl from school.
By dinner time Friday and after a good cry and conversation with God in a nice hot shower, I felt almost human again.
Saturday afternoon (day 6) we ventured to see The Nutcracker and by this time the headache was gone, thankfully, and I felt not 100% but not too bad had an enjoyable time.
A few new side effects had now entered the chat. The entire coating of my tongue felt like it had been rubbed with sandpaper and my mouth was extremely dry. I never really experienced sores that can be a side effect, but more of a raw, I just drank a way too hot cup of coffee feeling for the next several days.
I have given myself the name “space cadet” because honestly my brain feels a bit spacey more often than not and my focus, train of thought and memory aren’t firing on all cylinders most days.I would describe it as a “tired but wired” feeling. ***Apologies in advanced for those of you at the barre that thought I lost track of counting before. The fun’s just begun!🤪
And I will say this…Be thankful for your nose hairs people. Yup, they gone! And my nose pretty much runs 24/7 which is just more annoying than anything.
On Saturday evening I experienced some pretty gnarly joint pain in my pelvis, hips, low back and legs which I believe may have been due to the Neulesta given which helps my body make white blood cells to hopefully reduce the risk of infection during my chemo treatments.
Hoping to explore some options this go round that may help with the joint pain.
From Sunday on, I began to feel better and better each day and so far the week leading up to Chemo #2 I honestly felt pretty much normal in terms of schedule, activity and energy levels. So super thankful for that!
In 6 days it’ll be time to “do it all again”. And we will be 1/3 of the way there and one day closer to the end of chemo!
I constantly have to remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. There are so many daily obstacles to navigate and surfaced emotions to process. (More on that later in a separate post)
Isaiah 40:31 has been my go to scripture lately.
Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.
12/9/24
Chemotherapy Round 1 is scheduled for December 16th at 8am. I am scheduled for 6 rounds, going every three weeks, so by April this chapter too will be just a memory. I cannot tell you how excited I am for that day.
If you could keep this little family in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.
If I am being honest, life has been a tad bit rough lately.
Schedules shifted, normal daily routines stripped, emotions all over the place, physical and mental limits tested, and some days I am just down right exhausted with navigating all of it.
However, much like so many things in life, it is temporary, and we are clinging to that reminder.
We are so grateful for so many reaching out to ask what you can do to help. Honestly if we knew what that would be, we would for sure welcome the help.
But, for now, we simply ask for prayers:
For a smooth transition into the next steps for us.
For minimal (none would be great☺️) side effects from chemo treatments.
For energy and strength (physical, and mental) to navigate life in the coming months.
For me to be able to get back to a regular exercise/instructing schedule. Movement is medicine and it has been extremely difficult for me, mentally and physically, to have that taken away with recovery from the past two surgeries.
For grace in running a business through all of this. So thankful for instructors that have stepped up BIG TIME. There are so many “hats” to be worn in small business ownership, and I’m sure some of them have been worn backwards the past few months!
Will have some “be still” time on my hands as I receive treatments on Monday. If you would let us know how we can pray for you as well, we would be honored to do just that!
Leaving you with a scripture that has repeatedly been placed before me over the past few weeks. Hope it encourages you.
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
For MY GOOD, for HIS GLORY.🩵
Chemotherapy Round 1 is scheduled for December 16th at 8am. I am scheduled for 6 rounds, going every three weeks, so by April this chapter too will be just a memory. I cannot tell you how excited I am for that day.
If you could keep this little family in your prayers, we would really appreciate it.
If I am being honest, life has been a tad bit rough lately.
Schedules shifted, normal daily routines stripped, emotions all over the place, physical and mental limits tested, and some days I am just down right exhausted with navigating all of it.
However, much like so many things in life, it is temporary, and we are clinging to that reminder.
We are so grateful for so many reaching out to ask what you can do to help. Honestly if we knew what that would be, we would for sure welcome the help.
But, for now, we simply ask for prayers:
For a smooth transition into the next steps for us.
For minimal (none would be great☺️) side effects from chemo treatments.
For energy and strength (physical, and mental) to navigate life in the coming months.
For me to be able to get back to a regular exercise/instructing schedule. Movement is medicine and it has been extremely difficult for me, mentally and physically, to have that taken away with recovery from the past two surgeries.
For grace in running a business through all of this. So thankful for instructors that have stepped up BIG TIME. There are so many “hats” to be worn in small business ownership, and I’m sure some of them have been worn backwards the past few months!
Will have some “be still” time on my hands as I receive treatments on Monday. If you would let us know how we can pray for you as well, we would be honored to do just that!
Leaving you with a scripture that has repeatedly been placed before me over the past few weeks. Hope it encourages you.
Genesis 50:20
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.
For MY GOOD, for HIS GLORY.🩵
A little behind-the-scenes Instagram versus reality picture for ya! Fresh scars and a drain, headed out for family pictures.🤪
Thanksgiving 11/28/24
“Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to you
And these wounds are a story you'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars”
Scars lyrics
I AM THEY
As promised, sharing the goods, bads, ups, downs, uglies and pretties.
SCARS:
share stories
fade with time, but memories remain.
And, here we are, Thanksgiving number one post diagnosis, post surgeries, pre chemo & radiation, but not post counting every blessing, every single day.
I would be lying if I said there haven’t been moments of incredible frustration. But I told myself when this journey started that I wouldn’t allow those moments to turn into days. So I have done just that. I have extended much needed grace to my body and my mind, sat with frustration and alllll the emotions, sobbed, punched (well as best I can under current restrictions. See, Dr. Fensterer, I’m being a good patient) kicked and screamed at times.
“You look great!” I hear often. And most times those words sink in without much thought or a simple smiling “Thank you!” But sometimes, deep down, if I can be honest, I’d like to respond with… “ohhhh, if I could only show ya these scars. If you ONLY KNEW!”
The purpose in sharing these scars isn’t for sympathy or attention. But to look back on in the REAL near future and say, I MADE IT! That these moments didn’t last forever, even if it seemed as though they would at the time.
So today I will belly up to the table (yup, drain and all) with so much gratitude.
Today, I will be grateful for struggles.
Today, I will be thankful for a second surgery pathology report resulting in clear margins and CANCER FREE NEWS!
Today, I will cling to all the blessings.
Today, I will be thankful for the scars.
11/28/24
As Taylor says, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.
Yes, Miss Swift, today I am feeling every single bit of 22.
As in, 22 total visit, scans, tests, surgeries, you name it, since I first discovered a small lump in my breast.
22 y’all! 😳
I’ve said it multiple times over the last three months, I’m not sure how people have the time to navigate chronic illness, or other diagnosis . Yet, here we are! And by the grace of God, we have survived 100% of the hardest days so far.
Gonna take a few minutes on this post to highlight (as briefly as I can, bear with me) the timeline of our**story this far.
** I say our and not my, because from day 1 I haven’t been in this alone and the support from family and friends has been indescribable
July 23
While doing monthly self exam (DO THIS LADIES) I found a small lump in my left breast, so I called to get it checked out.
July 31
Office visit with Dr. Shannon Holt, who is phenomenal by the way, and was scheduled for mammogram and ultrasound to further investigate.
August 16
Appointment for Mammogram (both breasts) and ultrasound of left breast
After results were read (on the spot) it was recommended that I have a breast biopsy and that was scheduled.
August 28
Breast biopsy was done. Not terrible at all and I was back to normal routine, including teaching at the studio and working within a few days.
August 29
The phone rings… it is Dr. Holt. She asks if I can come to the office and if I am alone.
I knew right then there was news on the other side of the line that was definitely not in my plan for how this season of my life was going to go.
I told her that we were fine with talking on the phone and put her on speaker phone while my husband Jared and I listened as she explained that there were cancerous cells found in the biopsy.
I’m not even sure looking back on it that it registered that afternoon, or even for several days after. Appointments were scheduled to meet with surgeon and oncologist.
September 5
2 hour office visit with Dr. Karen Brunkhorst and Dr. Christopher Burkeen
It goes without saying that this is a visit that no one wants to ever have on their calendar, but the thorough explanation of it all and care that was shown allowed us to feel at ease for the next steps. I was told that the type of breast cancer I had was stage 1 ER positive PR positive HER2 negative, and very treatable. It was caught early in the treatment plan would involve a lumpectomy to remove the tissue, clear the margins, as well as a sentinel node biopsy to make sure lymph nodes were clear, followed by three weeks of radiation approximately six weeks after surgery date.
Blood was drawn for genetic testing to be performed.
Surgery was scheduled, and we also discussed a breast reduction, which I’m not gonna lie I was very excited about!😬
We had a plan! We left feeling great about the weeks ahead.
September 12
Genetic testing came back NEGATIVE, praise the LORD!
October 14
Met with Dr. Tathyana Fensterer (plastic surgeon) to discuss surgery for breast reduction.
October 21
Met with Tara Drexler at lymphedema clinic as there is a risk for lymphedema when lymph nodes are taken. But here’s the best thing. I had been educating myself on the lymphatic system for a while now and have been and will continue to do several things that help move the lymph. (One of those is rebounding on the rebounder trampoline, I’ll save that for another post all by itself!!)
October 22
Surgery date!
It was a looooonnnggg day. Lymph nodes removed, lumpectomy and breast reduction performed. The procedure was outpatient and recovery I can say was honestly not too bad!
October 29
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst discussing pathology of last week’s surgery. She starts by saying we have great news (hallelujah I thought to myself) and we also have some MEH news (well that shifted quickly). The great news was that all margins were cleared and the lymph nodes were all negative. The meh news was that in some of the breast tissue that was removed new cancer was found (not previously detected on any previous imaging or tests!!) and it was ER positive PR positive and HER2 positive. A completely different type of cancer in the same breast.
WHAT IN THE WORLD!? I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really remember much that was said after that, but do remember the words another surgery and chemotherapy.
Talk about a plot twist!
November 4
Visit with Dr. Burkeen to discuss chemotherapy. Went over in great detail the chemo proposed to treat my cancer, answered any and all questions we had.
Once again was told stage 1 and caught very early. I did request a PET scan at this appointment, because well… while i do love surprises, it hits a little different when that surprise is newfound cancer. I just wanted to peace of mind and to be confident that the cancer had not spread to any other areas in my body. He said he could absolutely put in an order for that, but did discuss that insurance may not choose to cover it since cancer was in such an early stage. (YAY INSURANCE, please say this out loud in your most sarcastic voice, because that’s what I just did)
November 7
Visit with Dr. Brunkhorst
Surgery numero dos was discussed and scheduled. All questions were answered and left feeling confident of the plan in place.
November 15
CT Scan
Long and short of it, insurance denied the PET scan, and wanted CT scan first.
So went for CT on this day at 1:00 and then
Chemo Education
with Randy Ball that afternoon.
If you don’t know this man, let me just tell you he is one of the most caring and compassionate souls that I have ever met. And that was just me talking to him for about an hour about what chemotherapy would look like. All questions were thoroughly answered, and then some.
Got a tour of the new Cancer Center at Baptist, which is very impressive. Heated floors and massage chairs in the chemo rooms, yes please!
I left feeling very confident and educated about the months ahead.
I am to receive six chemo treatments, starting sometime mid December, on a schedule of one every three weeks. So hopefully, when the flowers are blooming in the spring, I will be growing right out of chemo treatments as well!
November 18
EKG appointment
This was done to take a baseline measure, as one of the possible side effects of the chemo drugs I will take could, but in very rare cases, affect the heart.
November 19
CT SCAN RESULTS
got a call from Dr. Burkeen that scan was all good, such a relief. PET scan was not needed at this time due to these results.
Follow up with Tara Drexler for lymphedema. Said that I was doing very well and used the words “a star student”, yay for some good news!! All checked out good and will continue to have follow up appointments through the remainder of this journey.
November 22
Surgery 2 date! Plans include shaving muscle tissue to hopefully clear margins for cancer #2 and install port for chemo.
Here we go again. You know you gotta laugh and not cry about it when the sweet gals at the check in desk say “you look familiar!” Yes, I was just last here 4 weeks TO THE DATE! Oct 22 and Nov 22.
Which led me to this verse right here:
Psalm 22:22
“I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.”
And that, my friends, is what we will continue to do, PRAISE HIM in this storm.
There have been so many blessings that have taken place over the past several months. Too numerous to count. HE is in the trials, the storms, the unfavorable diagnosis
and I’m confident a hurt is never wasted.
So now we wait… we wait for the results from Friday’s surgery expectantly and with hope for clear margins and CANCER FREE news. And while we wait… we PRAISE! 🙌🏼
November 26
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst with GREAT NEWS, she says.
All margins from second surgery are CLEAR & I am CANCER FREE.
I squealed, l thanked her, told her how grateful I was for her & that it was the best Thanksgiving news I have ever received.
“Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn't trade it for anything
'Cause my brokenness brought me to you
And these wounds are a story you'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who you are
So forever I am thankful for the scars”
Scars lyrics
I AM THEY
As promised, sharing the goods, bads, ups, downs, uglies and pretties.
SCARS:
share stories
fade with time, but memories remain.
And, here we are, Thanksgiving number one post diagnosis, post surgeries, pre chemo & radiation, but not post counting every blessing, every single day.
I would be lying if I said there haven’t been moments of incredible frustration. But I told myself when this journey started that I wouldn’t allow those moments to turn into days. So I have done just that. I have extended much needed grace to my body and my mind, sat with frustration and alllll the emotions, sobbed, punched (well as best I can under current restrictions. See, Dr. Fensterer, I’m being a good patient) kicked and screamed at times.
“You look great!” I hear often. And most times those words sink in without much thought or a simple smiling “Thank you!” But sometimes, deep down, if I can be honest, I’d like to respond with… “ohhhh, if I could only show ya these scars. If you ONLY KNEW!”
The purpose in sharing these scars isn’t for sympathy or attention. But to look back on in the REAL near future and say, I MADE IT! That these moments didn’t last forever, even if it seemed as though they would at the time.
So today I will belly up to the table (yup, drain and all) with so much gratitude.
Today, I will be grateful for struggles.
Today, I will be thankful for a second surgery pathology report resulting in clear margins and CANCER FREE NEWS!
Today, I will cling to all the blessings.
Today, I will be thankful for the scars.
11/28/24
As Taylor says, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.
Yes, Miss Swift, today I am feeling every single bit of 22.
As in, 22 total visit, scans, tests, surgeries, you name it, since I first discovered a small lump in my breast.
22 y’all! 😳
I’ve said it multiple times over the last three months, I’m not sure how people have the time to navigate chronic illness, or other diagnosis . Yet, here we are! And by the grace of God, we have survived 100% of the hardest days so far.
Gonna take a few minutes on this post to highlight (as briefly as I can, bear with me) the timeline of our**story this far.
** I say our and not my, because from day 1 I haven’t been in this alone and the support from family and friends has been indescribable
July 23
While doing monthly self exam (DO THIS LADIES) I found a small lump in my left breast, so I called to get it checked out.
July 31
Office visit with Dr. Shannon Holt, who is phenomenal by the way, and was scheduled for mammogram and ultrasound to further investigate.
August 16
Appointment for Mammogram (both breasts) and ultrasound of left breast
After results were read (on the spot) it was recommended that I have a breast biopsy and that was scheduled.
August 28
Breast biopsy was done. Not terrible at all and I was back to normal routine, including teaching at the studio and working within a few days.
August 29
The phone rings… it is Dr. Holt. She asks if I can come to the office and if I am alone.
I knew right then there was news on the other side of the line that was definitely not in my plan for how this season of my life was going to go.
I told her that we were fine with talking on the phone and put her on speaker phone while my husband Jared and I listened as she explained that there were cancerous cells found in the biopsy.
I’m not even sure looking back on it that it registered that afternoon, or even for several days after. Appointments were scheduled to meet with surgeon and oncologist.
September 5
2 hour office visit with Dr. Karen Brunkhorst and Dr. Christopher Burkeen
It goes without saying that this is a visit that no one wants to ever have on their calendar, but the thorough explanation of it all and care that was shown allowed us to feel at ease for the next steps. I was told that the type of breast cancer I had was stage 1 ER positive PR positive HER2 negative, and very treatable. It was caught early in the treatment plan would involve a lumpectomy to remove the tissue, clear the margins, as well as a sentinel node biopsy to make sure lymph nodes were clear, followed by three weeks of radiation approximately six weeks after surgery date.
Blood was drawn for genetic testing to be performed.
Surgery was scheduled, and we also discussed a breast reduction, which I’m not gonna lie I was very excited about!😬
We had a plan! We left feeling great about the weeks ahead.
September 12
Genetic testing came back NEGATIVE, praise the LORD!
October 14
Met with Dr. Tathyana Fensterer (plastic surgeon) to discuss surgery for breast reduction.
October 21
Met with Tara Drexler at lymphedema clinic as there is a risk for lymphedema when lymph nodes are taken. But here’s the best thing. I had been educating myself on the lymphatic system for a while now and have been and will continue to do several things that help move the lymph. (One of those is rebounding on the rebounder trampoline, I’ll save that for another post all by itself!!)
October 22
Surgery date!
It was a looooonnnggg day. Lymph nodes removed, lumpectomy and breast reduction performed. The procedure was outpatient and recovery I can say was honestly not too bad!
October 29
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst discussing pathology of last week’s surgery. She starts by saying we have great news (hallelujah I thought to myself) and we also have some MEH news (well that shifted quickly). The great news was that all margins were cleared and the lymph nodes were all negative. The meh news was that in some of the breast tissue that was removed new cancer was found (not previously detected on any previous imaging or tests!!) and it was ER positive PR positive and HER2 positive. A completely different type of cancer in the same breast.
WHAT IN THE WORLD!? I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really remember much that was said after that, but do remember the words another surgery and chemotherapy.
Talk about a plot twist!
November 4
Visit with Dr. Burkeen to discuss chemotherapy. Went over in great detail the chemo proposed to treat my cancer, answered any and all questions we had.
Once again was told stage 1 and caught very early. I did request a PET scan at this appointment, because well… while i do love surprises, it hits a little different when that surprise is newfound cancer. I just wanted to peace of mind and to be confident that the cancer had not spread to any other areas in my body. He said he could absolutely put in an order for that, but did discuss that insurance may not choose to cover it since cancer was in such an early stage. (YAY INSURANCE, please say this out loud in your most sarcastic voice, because that’s what I just did)
November 7
Visit with Dr. Brunkhorst
Surgery numero dos was discussed and scheduled. All questions were answered and left feeling confident of the plan in place.
November 15
CT Scan
Long and short of it, insurance denied the PET scan, and wanted CT scan first.
So went for CT on this day at 1:00 and then
Chemo Education
with Randy Ball that afternoon.
If you don’t know this man, let me just tell you he is one of the most caring and compassionate souls that I have ever met. And that was just me talking to him for about an hour about what chemotherapy would look like. All questions were thoroughly answered, and then some.
Got a tour of the new Cancer Center at Baptist, which is very impressive. Heated floors and massage chairs in the chemo rooms, yes please!
I left feeling very confident and educated about the months ahead.
I am to receive six chemo treatments, starting sometime mid December, on a schedule of one every three weeks. So hopefully, when the flowers are blooming in the spring, I will be growing right out of chemo treatments as well!
November 18
EKG appointment
This was done to take a baseline measure, as one of the possible side effects of the chemo drugs I will take could, but in very rare cases, affect the heart.
November 19
CT SCAN RESULTS
got a call from Dr. Burkeen that scan was all good, such a relief. PET scan was not needed at this time due to these results.
Follow up with Tara Drexler for lymphedema. Said that I was doing very well and used the words “a star student”, yay for some good news!! All checked out good and will continue to have follow up appointments through the remainder of this journey.
November 22
Surgery 2 date! Plans include shaving muscle tissue to hopefully clear margins for cancer #2 and install port for chemo.
Here we go again. You know you gotta laugh and not cry about it when the sweet gals at the check in desk say “you look familiar!” Yes, I was just last here 4 weeks TO THE DATE! Oct 22 and Nov 22.
Which led me to this verse right here:
Psalm 22:22
“I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you.”
And that, my friends, is what we will continue to do, PRAISE HIM in this storm.
There have been so many blessings that have taken place over the past several months. Too numerous to count. HE is in the trials, the storms, the unfavorable diagnosis
and I’m confident a hurt is never wasted.
So now we wait… we wait for the results from Friday’s surgery expectantly and with hope for clear margins and CANCER FREE news. And while we wait… we PRAISE! 🙌🏼
November 26
The phone rings… it’s Dr. Brunkhorst with GREAT NEWS, she says.
All margins from second surgery are CLEAR & I am CANCER FREE.
I squealed, l thanked her, told her how grateful I was for her & that it was the best Thanksgiving news I have ever received.